Your Daily Kardashian Update

Some of my readers have expressed shock and outrage over my recent neglect of reporting and verbally abusing the Kardashian clan’s daily shenanigans.

I’m sorry everyone, but it’s hard to keep up with these bitches since they are practically turning America into their own empire called Armenia. I’ve simply been on a Kardashian overload.  Not only that, but my eyes get so itchy every time I read their last name in daily news headlines, that sometimes my mind puts a mental block on their existence.

But, I promise to do a better job and proudly announce a new “Your Daily Kardashian Update” that you can always expect to find on my blog because you know you care.

So here goes:

Kim Kardashian is thankfully going to be “digitally dead” until the end of December (according to PopEater), or until she sells her and her sisters’ entire Loubutions collection and donates a $1,000,000 to the “Keep a Child Alive” campaign. So pretty much, a bunch of celebrities and Kim Kardashian decided to “digitally die” by signing off their Fbook, Twitter and Myspace accounts & asking the people of the world to “buy their lives back” and bring them back into our social networking lives. Needless to say, no one’s cheap ass cares to donate $5 to bring these bitches back so the campaign is failing at raising $1 million to raise everyone from the dead. So far, the total for all the dead celebs is only up to $181,545. Sorry AIDS, but it’s clear to say that people care more about spending money on themselves than donating to you.

I just love this South Park video so much:

In other Kardashian News:

The KKK (Kourtney, Kim and Khloe) witches have been whoring out their new book, shamelessly titled “Kardashian Konfidentail,” on every morning TV show that will have them. I really hope that this book gets placed in the “Photography” section of Borders and Barnes & Noble since this book is more like a photography album that our parents used to make before the time of digital cameras, digital frames, and facebook albums. (I kinda miss actual photo albums)
Now,the cover of the album shows the sisters with their finger over their mouthes “Shhh…-ing” as if inside the book we will find confidential government documents. I personally find it absolutely hysterial seeing Kim with the “Sh…” finger as if she’s hiding something from us. Honey, we all know and have seen how you got famous, you are not hiding anything!

Anyways, enjoy a bunch of pictures of the KKK sisters wearing ridiculous shit to their promotional appearances.