April, 2011

15
Apr 11

Dear Jersey Shore, I Loved You but Go Fuck Yourself

God Bless the NON-Italian Americans, because according to Entertainment Weekly, these 8 lucky sunburnt alcoholics pried out $100,000 PER EPISODE from MTV.

After rumors that Season 4 in Italy might be delayed or may not even happen at all due to the power 4:  Snooki, Jwoww, Pauly D and the Situaiton all refusing to sign new contracts in hopes of landing a higher payday, the Jersey Shore has officially become the most successful reality series, ever.
In the previous seasons, the show’s stars were paid anywhere between $10,000 to $30,000 per episode BUT NOW a Jersey Shore cast member is looking to make a potential $1.3 million to simply GymTanLaundry in friggin’ Italy!

I don’t understand. So it is possible…for a human being…to get paid over $1,000,000…to have NO RESPONSIBILITIES, get drunk, puke, dodge/fuck grenades, and fight with one another on a daily basis. Whatever ever happened to shows like the Survivor where people actually had to put effort and use their intellect to win a million dollars?

P.S. Which cast member do I have to smush to get the $100,000 worth of student loans I’ve acquired by attending an institution that, as it now turns out, is completely unnecessary to make it in America! Stupid me…

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14
Apr 11

Guess Who Else is Bipolar?

“I have extreme bipolar and I am taking medication for this.”

Jean-Claude Van Damme is yet another celebrity who claims to suffer from bipolar disorder. Really? I mean does this body look bipolar to you?

I blame  Charlie Sheen. Ever since he’s spurned the media’s use of the word “bipolar,” we have more out-of-work stars jumping on the wagon (cough – Catherine Zeta Jones – cough). Am I missing something or has the word “bipolar” become the new gateway to making sure your name stays in the headlines?

Shit, somebody put this blog in the freaking news and call it the most bipolar blog on the internet that needs to be locked away immediately.

Q: Why did you create YKYC?
A: Because I am bipolar.

Q: Why do you talk so much shit about Kim Kardashian on your blog?
A: Because I am bipolar.

Q: Why are you asking yourself questions in a pretend Q&A?
A: Because I am bipolar and I’m not taking medication for it.

But let’s pray that Jean-Claude beats his bipolarness and that I never defeat mine.

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Categories : Other crap
13
Apr 11

I Pledge Allegiance to the Double D’s of the United States of America

In an appearance on Lopez Tonight, Russell Brand chatted about his married life with Katy Perry and admitted that he has no plans of becoming an American citizen.

“I am married to an American but I don’t know the Pledge of Allegiance; I’m not planning to give up my Englishness or anything… I love the people of America… but I’m very proud of being English.”

Maybe one day Katy Perry’s boobs will hypnotize him into changing his mind.

Check out his hilarious appearance on Lopez in the vid below:

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13
Apr 11

Does this Face Look Bipolar to You?

Catherine Zeta-Jones has reportedly checked into a mental health facility to seek treatment for bipolar disorder. You know how I know she is not really bipolar? Well, for starters there was no crazy, public meltdown a la Britney Spears shaving her head incident. And there were no warning signs, whatsofuckingever!

The Chicago star has no doubt endured a tough year after supporting her husband Michael Douglas through his throat cancer battle following his diagnosis last summer. The pressure of dealing with the illness has taken its toll on the Welsh beauty and she supposedly decided to turn to professionals to combat a serious bout of depression. Sources tell TMZ.com the 41 year old was admitted to Silver Hill Hospital in Connecticut, although her rep denies this story.

All I have to say is that I really hope this story isn’t true because this means I will have to eventually turn myself in for bipolar disorder instead seeking treatment via my daily rants on this blog…fuck.

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Categories : Other crap
13
Apr 11

Leave Scarlet Johansson Alone, She’s In The Best Shape of Her Life

Scarlett Johansson’s representative has dismissed rumours the actress is pregnant after she was photographed jogging with Sean Penn looking like Sean’s Pennis might  have knocked her up. Scarlett’s spokesman insists the pictures are “misleading.”

“Scarlett is not pregnant. She’s been training for The Avengers for over four months and is in the best shape of her life.”

“She’s outside running and it’s simply the placement of her shirt that is misleading. I’m sure there are other photos in the series that show and prove that she is not pregnant.”

Well in that case, let’s examine the other photos from the series below:

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Categories : Other crap
13
Apr 11

And This is How Big Hayden Panettiere’s Vagina Is

Hayden Panettiere was on the Ellen DeGeneres show and explained how her 6’6 boyfriend, Wladimir Klitschko’s penis fits inside her 5’1 frame. Apparently the midget-and-giant factor fascinates the public and the public demands to know how giants and midgets mate.

She explains:

“He is quite a big bigger than me and I get the prudish people coming up to me (saying), ‘Does it work?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah… we find a way’. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

[The people who ask me how sex works with my boyfriend] are very conservative people most of the time but that just have to know. Like, ‘I have to know, I just have to ask you this question. I’m really sorry but….”

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Categories : Other crap
12
Apr 11

Dr. Drew, Here is Celebrity Rehab’s Future Star

Wiz Khalifa admitted to Complex magazine he lives by the ‘wake and bake’ motto and can’t begin his day without a joint. The Black & Yellow hitmaker tells Complex magazine:

“Literally the first thing I do is smoke. That’s not even to sound cool or anything, I just have to be high first thing in the morning. So, I wake up. I smoke. I get on the Internet. I check all the rumors and shit.”

This of course would explain Kanye West’s ex and Kalifa’s current groupie girlfriend, Amber Rose’s recent weight gain. She must get some serious munchies from Wiz’s morning breath.

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Categories : Quote of the Week


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