Dear Jersey Shore, I Loved You but Go Fuck Yourself

God Bless the NON-Italian Americans, because according to Entertainment Weekly, these 8 lucky sunburnt alcoholics pried out $100,000 PER EPISODE from MTV.

After rumors that Season 4 in Italy might be delayed or may not even happen at all due to the power 4:  Snooki, Jwoww, Pauly D and the Situaiton all refusing to sign new contracts in hopes of landing a higher payday, the Jersey Shore has officially become the most successful reality series, ever.
In the previous seasons, the show’s stars were paid anywhere between $10,000 to $30,000 per episode BUT NOW a Jersey Shore cast member is looking to make a potential $1.3 million to simply GymTanLaundry in friggin’ Italy!

I don’t understand. So it is possible…for a human being…to get paid over $1,000,000…to have NO RESPONSIBILITIES, get drunk, puke, dodge/fuck grenades, and fight with one another on a daily basis. Whatever ever happened to shows like the Survivor where people actually had to put effort and use their intellect to win a million dollars?

P.S. Which cast member do I have to smush to get the $100,000 worth of student loans I’ve acquired by attending an institution that, as it now turns out, is completely unnecessary to make it in America! Stupid me…