Sorry, but John McClane Will Never Die

GLORIOUS NEWS: Tom Rothman, co-chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Fox Filmed Entertainment, announced this morning that the Die Hard franchise will begin shooting its fifth installment titled “When the fuck is John McClane Gonna Die Already?” Just kidding, it’s actually titled: “A Good Day to Die Hard.”  (Insert your ”Bruce Willis is hard” joke here)

Now, since I’ve been blessed with the dirtiest mind of them all, this title has immediately embedded a fabulous image in my head of Bruce Willis killing off terrorists with an erection.

Here are the details that were revealed about the movie:

• Shooting begins in January 2012
• The sequel will be released on February 14th, 2013 (on Valentine’s Day, naturally so in case you don’t have a date, Brucey will be waiting for you at the movie theatre, hard.)
• The story is set in Russia (of course, if it’s not America, it must be in Russia) and begins with John McClane heading to Moscow to sweet talk some cops into letting his apparently-wayward son out of jail for something he did, but when he gets there, things surrounding his son’s arrest are not as they appear and world-threatening terrorist hijinks ensue.
• McClane, Jr. has yet to be cast (Let’s just hope it’s not Shia LeBeouf)
• They still don’t know if it will be rated PG-13 or R. (ugh…it has to be Rated R!)

Maybe Christina Hendricks can play a sexy Russian spy.

I know, you will never look at her boobs the same ever again…