FML

29
Jul 11

Guess Who?

If you guessed an 18 year old Hollywood starlet who is on the coke diet OR a 50 year old Hollywood starlet flaunting her post-lipo body at the beach, guess again.

This is none other than one of Victoria’s Secret Angels - Adriana Lima after having a baby not too long ago.

FML and FYL is right.

it’s ok though, if you pray hard enough maybe in your next life you can come back as a Brazilian supermodel.
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15
Apr 11

Dear Jersey Shore, I Loved You but Go Fuck Yourself

God Bless the NON-Italian Americans, because according to Entertainment Weekly, these 8 lucky sunburnt alcoholics pried out $100,000 PER EPISODE from MTV.

After rumors that Season 4 in Italy might be delayed or may not even happen at all due to the power 4:  Snooki, Jwoww, Pauly D and the Situaiton all refusing to sign new contracts in hopes of landing a higher payday, the Jersey Shore has officially become the most successful reality series, ever.
In the previous seasons, the show’s stars were paid anywhere between $10,000 to $30,000 per episode BUT NOW a Jersey Shore cast member is looking to make a potential $1.3 million to simply GymTanLaundry in friggin’ Italy!

I don’t understand. So it is possible…for a human being…to get paid over $1,000,000…to have NO RESPONSIBILITIES, get drunk, puke, dodge/fuck grenades, and fight with one another on a daily basis. Whatever ever happened to shows like the Survivor where people actually had to put effort and use their intellect to win a million dollars?

P.S. Which cast member do I have to smush to get the $100,000 worth of student loans I’ve acquired by attending an institution that, as it now turns out, is completely unnecessary to make it in America! Stupid me…

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29
Dec 10

Look What You Started Willow Smith

No big deal, this is just a typical day in the life of a 9 year old Starr Andrews. And suddenly I feel like I haven’t accomplished shit in life. FML.

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28
Dec 10

To Stalk or Not To Stalk – That is the Question!

For guys, a “quickie” means getting in and out with a joyous orgasm.  For us girls, a “quickie” is the same great feeling only we get it from snooping through his email, cellphone, or facebook account when he’s fallen asleep, has stepped into the shower or has stepped out to a store. Women may be crazy and sneaky, but men are just plain stupid. This is why a Michigan man now faces up to five years in prison for snooping through his wife’s email account and admitting to it.

The Huffington Post reports that Leon Walker has learned of his wife’s affair by logging into her Gmail account and is set to go on trial Feb. 7 on felony computer misuse charges. Apparently thirty-three year old, Leon Walker claims that he had every right to access her Gmail account on the computer because:

a. he bought the computer
b. the computer was in his home
c. the wife left the password lying around

“I felt that with the risk to my daughter and to my stepson, I had an obligation to check. I had no choice,” Walker told NBC News.

However, prosecutors in Michigan say Walker did have a choice but made a bad one and they have charged him with unauthorized access to a computer in order to “acquire, alter, damage, delete or destroy property.”

HAHAHAHAHA, well if this is the case then I know a few individuals (including myself) who should be on death row for this.

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Categories : FML , God Bless America
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14
Dec 10

Sisqo Still Exists

The man responsible for the theme song of our generation – the Thong Song, was spotted at the opening of Luxor Resort & Casino in Las Vegas.

Since it’s only Tuesday and your memory might be occupied by work-related things, I’d like to make your life easier by reminding you of this wonderful being via a description from Urbandictionary.com

Now, plug in your headphones, watch the video below & relive one of the greatest scenes in a music video ever: the neon bathing suit thongs.

WARNING: This video may cause uncontrollable crying, depression and full body aches as you realize it has been almost 11 years since we first shook our asses to this masterpiece. FML.

and no, I can’t tell you what Carrot Top was doing there with a thong in his mouth in the pictures below:

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Categories : FML , Music
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12
Nov 10

People really can’t wait to see Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman’s hot lesbian scenes in their new film, do you blame them?

What happens when you throw Mila Kunis, Natalie Portman and some tutus together in a movie? Hot ballerina lesbian sex.

And according to some comments I read in response to a YouTube video that loops the infamous kiss for 2:39 mins, which gives you just enough time to do whatever, I think Fox Searchlight Pictures cannot torture these pour souls any longer (before they get slammed with Blue Balls lawsuits) and needs to immediately announce an earlier release date for this masterpiece, the Black Swan, that currently comes out December 3rd.

According to People Magazine, Portman said she began her rigorous ballet training for this role a year in advance, dancing for up to 8 hours a day, which helped her develop “longer arms and better posture.” Mila said lost 20 lobs and “looked like Gollum from Lord of the Rings!” as her bones began to protrude.

I really love Hollywood and will probably never forgive my parents for not making me into a full-time theatre geek from the day I took my first breath. Only in Hollywood, do two hot chicks get paid to train with the best ballet teachers to develop tight bodies & have hot make out scenes. FML

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