Madonna released a boring music video for a boring song called “Turn Up The Radio.” Sorry, Madge but it’s more like “Turn Off The Radio” and “Turn Off The Music Video.”
If you enjoy music videos with no plot where grannies put on their best Victoria’s Secret push-up bra and shake their tits for the duration of 5 minutes, then watch below:
You know, when Drake expressed an interest to play Obama in a movie one day, I was a little skeptical. But after seeing his acting in this unofficial “music video” for “Practice,” I think he’d be perfect to portray another president:
That’s right. Bill Clinton.
Look how surprised he is to find his intern backing that A$$ up. Hmmm. Maybe Nicki can play the intern?
WARNING: the ass in the video below will hypnotize you and you will have no idea where 3 minutes of your life went. If you can escape being hypnotized, then fast forward to 3:23 where Drake walks in on this ass, “practicing.”
Lana Del Ray has been ripped to shreds after her recent fail of a performance on SNL but for some strange reason, I feel the need to defend those freshly, injected lips.
Sure, she looked as nervous as someone trying to smuggle drugs in her ass at an airpot while hoping not to get sniffed out by the police dogs and sounded half-retarded…but I was able to dig up a few other live performances of the same songs where she sounded great.
SNL:
Ok so maybe she forgot how to sing on SNL but she sounds pretty good live in the video below, if you ask me:
So there, this girl sure has a unique voice of a coked out tranny, which has its good and bad days…and perhaps we caught her on a bad day. So please people, let’s not all jump on the bash Lana Del Rey wagon despite the fact that Lana Del Rey is a simple, blonde girl who used to go by the name of Lizzie Grant, attended Fordham University and looked nothing like she does nowadays.
Kanye West’s ex-girlfriend Amber Rose is now a “singer.” Thank you, Kanye. Really, because we don’t have enough horribly auto-tuned songs out there as it is.
Today, Baldie released her first (auto-tuned to HELL and BACK) single called “Fame” on which current bf rapper Wiz Khalifa raps on. BTW, if you call that rapping, then he should retire…immediately.
Here are the award-winning lyrics so everybody SING ALONG:
Scrutinized, being blind,
Excited by all the lights
The question wasn’t made up
Like these rumours weren’t made up
Can’t shop for clothes, or buy some cigs
Without paparazzi waiting for a flick
This is a new situation
Now you’re an overnight sensation
You’re not ready for the fame
Woah oh oh oh
You’re not ready for the fame
Woah oh oh oh
Can’t deny, it’s just fly
Private jets, flying high
Rocking, rocking things you won’t see
Tell ‘em made by givenchy
Three years ago, just a girl
Now your name is known around the world
This is a new situation
Now you’re an overnight sensation
Now you’re ready for the fame
Woah oh oh oh
[Wiz Khalifa]
Uh, and you made it, this year,
Coming up so they hate it
Fly first class so the could get mad
You heard what they have to say but you paid it,
Now you’re busting out
Doing your thing, in your face, cuss ‘em out
Brag cause you’re the one that they fuss about
You’s bad little, motha shut your mouth cause
(everything you say will and can be used against you)
It’s all because of the fame
F.A.M.E
Basically, the moral of this song is that anybody who gets to date a rapper will get famous after which they can do anything they want in life from recording & putting out a shitty song to making a bazillion $$$ from shitty endorsement deals. Case and point: Kim Kardashian & Amber Rose. Thank you ladies for showing us the way to make it in America. Now, where do I find a rapper to get famous from?
Dear Amber,
I beg you, please stop singing & keep making Smirnoff Vodka commercials instead. You are much less annoying when you’re talking in a baby voice than singing in auto-tune.
Chelsea: Were you drinking a white wine spritzer?
Drake: I was, that’s my drink of choice.
I’m like a Golden Girl from Fort Lauderdale or something.
Chelsea: Either that or you are a flaming homosexual.
Come on, Chelsea!!?? How can you accuse Drake of being a homesexual, just look at how manly he looks on his album cover:
What about this one:
and this one:
There is no denying that Xtina has always had big voice, but now there is also no denying that Xtina has gone beyond being “curvy.” At the AMAs, during Adam Levine’s ear-bleeding performance of “Moves like Jagger,” Xtina and her gut, who clearly don’t believe that “black is slimming” came out in a shimmery, tight white dress. I’ll be nice so I won’t even comment on the hair.
If you have no mercy for your eyes and ears, go ahead and watch the video of Adam (who ironically enough is a judge on a show called the Voice) singing off-key and Xtina looking a hot mess.
Remember when Xtina looked like this? Actually I don’t even know which look is worse/better…
BEFORE AND AFTER:
Mariah Yeater, 20, has been blabbing to every news source that will listen and is tired of publishing stories about Kim Kardashian’s divorce, that 17-year-old Justin Bieber is the father of her newborn baby, Tristyn Anthony Markhouse Yeater. Bieber.
Allegedly, Justin sent a security guard to approach Mariah in the front row at one of his concerts and asked if she was interested in meeting the singer backstage. Mariah is NO fool and jumped at the opportunity to meet/get knocked up by the singer so she’d be set for the rest of her life. Describing their first romantic encounter, Mariah says:
“Immediately, it was obvious that we were mutually attracted to one another, and we began to kiss.
Shortly thereafter, Justin suggested that I go with him to a private place where we could be alone.
I agreed to go with him and on the walk to a private area, he told me he wanted to make love to me and this was going to be his first time.
We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to fuck the shit out of me.
At the time I asked him to put a condom on for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to. In his own words, he said that because it was his first time he wanted to feel everything.”
And there you have it. Mariah also said that after Justin pulled out his Bieber, he only lasted about 30 seconds and then boom, magic happened and Mariah was with child.
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