Offspring Request

19
Jan 11

You Mean to Tell Me There is None of This???

Sandra Bullock dismissed rumors that she and Ryan Reynolds are comforting/humping each other as recent divorcees when she spoke to Al Rocker at the Golden Globes. Sandra insisted that Ryan is not her “lovah” but merely “an amazing friend” she’s had for 10 years.

“I think there will be a collective sigh amongst women across the United States when I say he’s not my ‘lovah.’ He’s just an amazing friend for 10 years…but I don’t get his loving after dark.”

Sandra also said she is not planning to take Ryan off the market and  that her son Louis is the only man in her life who is off the market until he turns 18.

I don’t know…I really hope these two are doing each other so I will still file this under “Offspring Request.”

Comments : 1 comment
Categories : Offspring Request
27
Dec 10

Natalie Portman Knocked Up and Engaged

Ok bitches, so I went the extra mile and morphed Natalie Portman’s and her baby-daddy, Benjamin Millepeid’s faces to show you what their offspring may look like.

Natalie Portman confirmed that she’s pregnant and engaged to her ballet choreographer from Black Swan, Benjamin Millepied. I mean after all the lesbian sex Natalie has been having on the set and off the set (in our dreams) of Black Swan, the last thing we’d all expect to hear is that she is with child, but apparently she’s been banging her choreographer on the side. Well, yay for this good-looking couple and I hope they don’t pull a Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds on us after 2 years.

 

Comments : 1 comment
13
Dec 10

I don’t know why anyone thinks Chelsea is humping on Fiddy

A few months ago, I complained about the absence/decline in celebrity sex tapes, but today gave me hope when Chelsea Handler posted this picture of her and 50 cent in bed together to her twitter!

My sex tape request for these 2 still stands strong and we might be a lot closer to this ”blacks on blondes” short film of the year than we think!

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02
Dec 10

Regis wants a ‘Menage’ with Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne

Nicki Minaj has been promoting her new album, Pink Friday, by singing the same damn song, “Right Through You” on every tv show that will have her. So after she finished singing on Regis and Kelly, Regis came out to greet her, looked her up and down, licked his lips and patted her ass at the 1:30 mark. As Kelly screamed out in shock: “REGIS!” Regis simply smiled and went in for more with a side hug to Nicki. He then proceeded to proclaim his love for Lil Wayne to Nicki: “Lil Wayne. I LOVE him!” HINT HINT

But that’s not all, folks. In response to Regis’ next question about what advice Lil Wayne gives her, Nicki replied: “He tells me to Go Hard.” I mean, she definitely asked for it with this one because almost immediately Regis shot back with a

“Go Hard!? I wish I could!”

I love it when horny old men make awkward sexual jokes, don’t you?

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18
Nov 10

Jake & Annie sitting in a tree…H-U-M-P-I-N-G

I like Jakey’s smile and his chest hair.

Thanks to this cover of Entertainment Weekly magazine, all day long I’m going to be humming:

“Jake & Annie sitting in a tree…H-U-M-P-I-N-G.”

Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway got nekkid and posed on three different covers of EW magazine to promote their new movie, Love and Other Drugs.

We can only hope that during this photoshoot Jake got blinded by the photographer’s flash and his hard peen accidentally slipped into a hole and now Anne is pregnant with their child?

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15
Nov 10

GQ names Scarlett Johansson “Babe of the Year”

My first reaction to seeing this photo of Scarlett Johansson was:

“Damn, this is what gets to hump on Ryan Reynolds.”

But then, I thought:

“Damn, this is what Ryan Reynolds gets to hump on!”

I’d like to hump on both of them. For more pictures of Scarlett to drool or do whatever over, pick up the 15th Annual GQ Men of the Year Issue, on newsstands November 23.

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Comments : 4 comments
05
Nov 10

These two need to make a sexy biracial baby already

Maksim Chmerkovskiy is so hot on Dancing with the Stars that I think I get pregnant every week just from watching him thrust his hips. Unfortunately, I’m nowhere near those hips, but Brandy is..and I think these two need to have offspring immediately.

Comments : 1 comment
Categories : Offspring Request


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