Reality TV, Meet the vagina that gave us the ever so talented Audrina Patridge

I fucking love this woman!! Last night after Audrina Patridge was kicked off Dancing with the Stars, Mama Patridge drowned her sorrows in a few glasses of wine, put on her best Michael Lohan show and got to talking to the Paps. Mama Patridge’s daughter got famous for being on MTV’s “reality” scripted show called The Hills. Earlier today, it was announced that Audrina will now star in her own reality show on VH1 that revolves around following Audrina and her family as they navigate through celebrity and Hollywood.

When I first read these news, I really didn’t want to make any comments as I didn’t see it necessary to write about another failed reality show. However, now that I’ve seen the real Star, Mama Patridge, I am beyond ecstatic to glue my ass to the couch and watch this hot mess.

Here are a few of my personal favorite lines from Mama Patridge’s classy mouth:

“Fuck the Hills.”

“Fucking Hills girls, Hills tramps, my baby is a star. She is the only one that has some class.”

“Lauren Conrad, that bitch wants to bring it on. Fucking lets go.”

“I might have drank..”

“Fuck you, she’s no second hand actress. She rocks.”

“I don’t care if I’m an ass. I’m gonna be on TV soon baby, you better look for me cuz I’ll be on a reliaty show with my daughter. We are gonna kick ass and show how the real American, all American family lives.”

Please VH1, hurry up and enlighten us about how a real American family lives!! I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT. Marking my calendar now.