Dear Amber Rose, Please Stick to Selling Vodka. Thanks.

Kanye West’s ex-girlfriend Amber Rose is now a “singer.” Thank you, Kanye. Really, because we don’t have enough horribly auto-tuned songs out there as it is.

Today, Baldie released her first (auto-tuned to HELL and BACK) single called “Fame” on which current bf rapper Wiz Khalifa raps on. BTW, if you call that rapping, then he should retire…immediately.

Here are the award-winning lyrics so everybody SING ALONG:

Scrutinized, being blind,
Excited by all the lights
The question wasn’t made up
Like these rumours weren’t made up
Can’t shop for clothes, or buy some cigs
Without paparazzi waiting for a flick
This is a new situation
Now you’re an overnight sensation

You’re not ready for the fame
Woah oh oh oh
You’re not ready for the fame
Woah oh oh oh

Can’t deny, it’s just fly
Private jets, flying high
Rocking, rocking things you won’t see
Tell ‘em made by givenchy
Three years ago, just a girl
Now your name is known around the world
This is a new situation
Now you’re an overnight sensation

Now you’re ready for the fame
Woah oh oh oh

[Wiz Khalifa]
Uh, and you made it, this year,
Coming up so they hate it
Fly first class so the could get mad
You heard what they have to say but you paid it,
Now you’re busting out
Doing your thing, in your face, cuss ‘em out
Brag cause you’re the one that they fuss about
You’s bad little, motha shut your mouth cause

(everything you say will and can be used against you)

It’s all because of the fame
F.A.M.E

Basically, the moral of this song is that anybody who gets to date a rapper will get famous after which they can do anything they want in life from recording & putting out a shitty song to making a bazillion $$$ from shitty endorsement deals. Case and point: Kim Kardashian & Amber Rose. Thank you ladies for showing us the way to make it in America. Now, where do I find a rapper to get famous from?

Dear Amber, 

I beg you, please stop singing & keep making Smirnoff Vodka commercials instead. You are much less annoying when you’re talking in a baby voice than singing in auto-tune.